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This article was originally published on LinkedIn on 5 May 2020.  “Not a single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
------ Have you ever really paid attention to yourself? I mean really, really paid attention. It was in my late twenties, when I was living in Beijing and had just taken on the role of a Public Relations Consultant. I was standing in the middle of a grand ballroom overseeing a product launch event for a luxury brand, decked out in an all-black power suit, sporting bold, red, confident lips, and accessorized with a clipboard in my left hand. All around me, cameras flashed in an unchoreographed dance of bright lights. Extravagant music boomed through the speakers, and very important people were applauding, smiling, cheering. I was basking in a familiar air of glitz and glamour. “Erin!” A voice called out from behind. I turned around to see my client, Hannah, walking hurriedly towards me and clutching an eye-catching designer handbag. “I need to go to the washroom. Amelia’s about to go on stage for her speech now, could you hold on to her bag in the meantime? Be careful, it’s very expensive!” With that, she gingerly hooked the handles of the bag over my arm, and swiftly disappeared into the crowd. So there I was, standing in the middle of the grand ballroom, in my power suit and red lips, accessorized with a clipboard in my left hand, and a $5000 handbag over my right arm, when it all happened. Everything around me fell away - the lights, the music, the people, the extravaganza. It felt like a beam of spotlight was thrown on me, only the spotlight was my very own attention. I was suddenly very aware of the heaviness of the bag weighing down on my arm, and somehow this feeling of heaviness began coursing through my entire body. For the next few moments, I stood rooted to the floor of the ballroom, unable to move and deeply intrigued by what I was sensing at the physical level. It was as though I had noticed my body for the very first time in almost three decades, and despite the heaviness weighing me down, I felt curious and strangely at ease with this new discovery. This is what exhaustion feels like, I thought to myself. Wow, this is my body crying for help. That night marked the start of a paradigm shift in the way I lived my life. All the past years of self-defined professionalism - working more than 12 hours a day, staying late in the office, chasing deadlines over weekends, burning out, falling sick, breaking down, and calling it quits - they all began to alter as soon as I became more aware of myself. I hadn’t quite found mindfulness at that time, when I was still struggling to keep my head above the water in the Corporate Communications industry. But little did I know I was in fact on my way to discovering one of the most remarkable capacities I had - the ability to pay attention. Attention on its own is not mindfulness, but it is fundamental to living a mindful life. We wouldn't be able to practice mindfulness without the ability to pay attention. This is why I usually cover the topic of attention right at the start of a mindfulness training program. When we practice mindfulness, we learn to direct and sustain our attention in a specific way. It is through learning to pay attention that we come to recognize the urgent need for change, and the burden of remaining status quo. The moment I decided to look into the weariness of my body, I was also suddenly privy to the deeper layers of my psyche - the pomposity I secretly coveted, the identities I was stubbornly holding on to, the unhappiness driving those perpetual cycles of motivation and fatigue, as well as a desire for a final release from years of self-neglect. The moment I started paying attention to myself, I had already begun cultivating a different relationship with my body, and consequently, my mind. I don't mean to paint a picture of rainbows and unicorns when it comes to personal change. In fact, it wasn't an immediate or even neatly progressive transformation for me. Over the years, I practiced mindful awareness diligently, setting the intention for myself to get better and better by the day, but from time to time I still found myself falling back into the vicious cycle of over-engagement followed by total disengagement. It can feel discouraging at times, when we take this to mean that we have not progressed, but the truth is that each time I ended up back on the familiar grounds of stress and burnout, I wasn't actually back to square one. Instead, I gained a deeper and more intimate understanding of how my mind worked, and the many resources I had to make change happen. I take comfort in the beautiful teachings of Jack Kornfield, who describes the path of self-development as anything but a simple and linear one: "It is like a labyrinth, a circle, a flower’s petal-by-petal opening, or a deepening spiral, a dance around the still point, the center of all things. There are always changing cycles - ups and downs, openings and closings, awakenings to love and freedom, often followed by new and subtle entanglements. In the course of this great spiral, we return to where we started again and again, but each time with a fuller, more open heart.(1)"Change is a messy, lifelong process, since we are always work in progress. Along the way we may be tempted to look back at where we once were, wondering if we've gotten it right, but once we start on the path of change, we will never be the same as before. I'd like to boldly contend that the start of every personal transformation begins with just paying attention. But our modern lifestyle doesn't exactly encourage us to pay meaningful attention to ourselves and the way we live. In a distraction-filled world where everything is screaming, "Look at me! Look at me!", what should we be attending to? What might happen when we begin to shift our attention away from the external world, and start looking inside? What might change? ------ References: 1. JackKornfield.com, "The Path Is Not Linear but Circular and Continuous," https://jackkornfield.com/path-linear-circular-continuous/
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This article was originally published on LinkedIn on 2 March 2020.  They say “curiosity killed the cat.” Being too inquisitive could lead to danger. So don't ask too many questions. But one of the best advice I have ever received was from my very wise mentor Char Wilkins, who constantly reminded me when I was training to be a mindfulness teacher - “Curiosity will always get you out of trouble, Erin.” That’s right, I have learned that there is no such thing as being too curious, as long as it was grounded in the practice of mindful awareness. I used to feel really nervous about facilitating an inquiry into a mindfulness experience; posing a question like "What did you notice?" to a group of people, and potentially having every one of them stare right back at me in complete, deafening silence - it was unnerving. Silence was something I felt really uncomfortable with. Do they understand my question? Are they getting this? I would think to myself. I must look pretty amateur right now. They're onto me, they know I'm a phoney... Oh god, this is the longest anyone has not talked, ever. In reality, it was perhaps only five seconds of silence; to me, it felt like an eternity of awkwardness, self-doubt, and shame. My attention would get pulled into an internal whirlpool of self-judgmental thoughts, and before I knew it, I had lost sight of my original intention, which was to attend to and be present with the experiences of my participants. Throughout the rest of the session, dread and anxiety lingered behind every word I spoke, every question I asked, and every response I offered. Char would ask me during our mentoring sessions, “What are you curious about, Erin?” This golden question prompted the start of a paradigm shift in my facilitation approach. We have a strong tendency to quickly form judgments about anything and everything that arises in our experience. This usually stems from a place of fear or uncertainty, which we don't particularly like to deal with. We inwardly make assumptions and draw conclusions without taking the time to investigate what is really going on. The mind automatically runs scripts we are familiar with in an attempt to make sense of a situation. Your employee is staring at his phone during a meeting - that guy is not a team player. Your boss takes a deep breath in as you present your idea - nope, she's not buying this. Your partner texts you, "We need to talk," - is she breaking up with me? Your child avoids answering your question - why doesn't he ever respond to me? A stranger remains seated on the train despite seeing an elderly standing in front of him - ugh, what a jerk. What might happen if we were to invite a little curiosity into our experience? The moment we become curious about something, our attention softens and widens, our judgments start falling away, and suddenly space opens up for us to witness the experience as it is, and to explore more possibilities. Your employee is staring at his phone - could he be attending to something urgent? Does he need support? Your boss takes a deep breath in - could that be an attempt to be more present with me? Your partner texts you - what is she concerned about? Your child avoids your question - is something bothering him? Does he feel safe enough to share? A stranger doesn't give up his seat - could he have a condition I don't know about? And what happens when we stay curious and open ourselves to more possibilities? How might our interactions with one another change? Coming back to my silent group of practitioners, I subsequently reminded myself to be open and curious about what was happening there and then, without the need for a specific answer or outcome. Moment by moment, I practised resting in the atmosphere of silence, observing not only the participants, but also my very own discomfort. After a while, I realized that silence was just silence, and all that awkwardness was really in my head. Curiosity had allowed me to turn towards my experience and notice the unnecessary evaluations I was reactively bringing in. There was nothing inherently right or wrong, good or bad about that silence. The only thing I needed to be aware of at each moment of noticing, was that silence was present. And this information was enough. It was an epiphany, the moment I discovered that being curious about how things are, was more important than thinking about how things should be. Today, I am comfortable enough to invite the entire group to rest with me in silence, even when we are supposed to be sharing. With this open curiosity, I see thought bubbles brewing in the group and patiently wait for them to reveal themselves; I discern appropriate moments for holding space, and the best opportunities to value-add; I bear witness to how each person - including myself - transforms from struggle, to knowing, to insight. So, what are you curious about?
In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives.  MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness? Pui Yee: I was exposed to mindfulness some years back through a short meditation class that I’ve attended. My interest in learning and practicing mindfulness was renewed when a friend of mine introduced me to the MBSR program. MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. Pui Yee: The MBSR program appealed to my ‘rational’ self as I wanted a structured and secular way to familiarize myself with this body of knowledge. The program certainly lived up to my expectations. The inquiry sessions were particularly useful in sharing insights and challenges with my fellow participants. In addition, I have learnt various mindfulness techniques during the program and I now incorporate them into my daily activities. Finally, it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention the instrumental role that Erin played as a coach, facilitator and teacher. MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? Pui Yee: It takes time, effort and commitment to cultivate and practice mindfulness. Although I have just started on my mindfulness journey, I already noticed that I am more cognizant of my thoughts, emotions and actions as well as their impact on my overall state of well-being and those around me. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? Pui Yee: At work, I have learnt to appreciate the importance of taking a pause whenever I am confronted with a difficult or stressful situation. It is amazing how a short minute or two that’s well spent (or, for that matter, a single mindful breath) can neutralize my negative (yet instinctive) emotions and reactions. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? Pui Yee: For a start, I made a decision to set aside 30min every day for a formal practice. This is complemented by making a conscious effort to become more aware and mindful in my daily activities. That said, I confess that mindful eating is still something that I have yet to learn to appreciate! MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? Pui Yee: Stop thinking. As the saying goes – the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The time is NOW. ------ About Pui Yee Pui Yee prides herself as a global citizen. Aside from being an avid traveler, her banking and finance career has given her the opportunity to work and live in London, Brussels, Shanghai and Hong Kong. She also spent a year in France in the name of pursuing a further degree. Paradoxically, it is this extensive international exposure that has prompted Pui Yee to become more introspect. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message!
In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives.  MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness? Gillian: My interest in mindfulness was sparked during my training as an art therapist, where I first learned about it and the use of mindfulness in art therapy. As a therapist, I think the daily practice of mindfulness is important in managing stress, which also helps in cultivating being present at work (and other areas of life) and maintaining a sense of calm. MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. Gillian: The MBSR program is quite experiential, and allows you to explore your own responses to it. I tend to have some personal reflection that is quite helpful in gaining some self-awareness of my own stress reactions and how this might impact on many other areas. The practice is not only experiential, but I feel it promotes space for growth, self- forgiveness and love. MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? Gillian: Slowing down certainly has its benefits! Being more aware of my own pace in life has let me become more cognizant of the choices I make, being less attached to things that do not matter. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? Gillian: It has taught me how to recognize my stress patterns and reactions, and taking that little pause for some mindfulness helps in giving space to let go of thoughts that might be toxic and residual. I find this helps in minding my responses that allow for more compassion to myself and others. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? Gillian: I find it quite enjoyable to be able to incorporate bits of mindfulness in simple activities that we do on a daily basis, for example, brewing a cup of tea, when eating my lunch, or even washing my hair. MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? Gillian: Go with an open mind! Embrace the opportunity to learn how you can cultivate loving kindness to yourself and others, and enrich your connection to life. ------  About Gillian Ong Trained in Australia as a social worker and art therapist, Gillian has worked with diverse populations that include the area of disabilities, HIV work and mental health. A self-taught artist, Gillian believes in the healing power of the arts and is passionate about harnessing the therapeutic value of creativity for social change and good in her work. Currently an art therapist working with the terminally ill in a hospice, Gillian witnesses the tremendous capacity within us for transformation, forgiveness and healing through art. Her work has helped her understand more deeply the need for compassion to self and others in the journey of life. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message!
In the Mindful Musings series, MiMo Founder and Mindfulness Coach Erin shares her personal thoughts and views about the practice of mindfulness.  I like to observe the environment around me, especially when I'm commuting from one place to another on the train. One thing I notice is how as a society living in crowded spaces, our physical bodies are so close in proximity to one another - sometimes in an almost smothering way during the peak hours, but our mind is often miles apart, not just from person to person, but also from ourselves. As I scan the space around me on the train, I find it interesting that the first thing I see would always be the crown of people's heads. Everyone would be looking down at their phones - either busy replying to messages, or browsing the web, or playing a game. Occasionally, they would look up to check which station the train was at, and then resume to bowing down to their gadgets again. Their attention would almost never leave the screen in front of them. I would then look more closely at their faces and expressions, and what I often recognize is a shared sense of deep-seated exhaustion - perhaps leftover from a day of working and firefighting, or from a lack of restful sleep at night, or from some personal troubles. I would think, if people are so tired, why don't they close their eyes and rest for a while? Why do they choose to have an external object drain more energy from them? Perhaps they don't want to know how tired their body feels, or they dread facing how much is on their mind, so watching a random video on their Facebook feed would obviously be a much "easier" option. As a society, we are collectively exhausted, and we don't know it. Or rather, we don't want to know it. We are living in a world full of external objects that stimulate the mind, and we have gotten so used to being absorbed in them or using them as a distraction, that we no longer have the capacity to turn our attention inwards to tend to what's going on inside us. Keeping ourselves occupied with something, even when we don't need to, seems to be much more accessible than just sitting and being with ourselves. But what we are giving up in exchange for a coping mechanism masked as a temporary relief from having to confront our exhaustion, is the opportunity to know the mind and body for what they are, and how they are doing. In the practice of mindfulness, we train ourselves to constantly turn our attention inwards to observe the mind and body. Being mindfully aware of what's going on inside us may seem counter-intuitive at first, since we instinctively want to avoid or fight off anything that feels unpleasant or negative to us; but when we are able to rest our attention inwardly, we can then recognize what the body is being put through, as well as understand what the mind may be unnecessarily holding on to, thus becoming better able to take care of ourselves. On 27 October 2018, Erin was invited to Autodesk Singapore's Out of the Building initiative, where she gave an introduction to the importance of body awareness in practicing mindfulness. We discussed how we are mostly "living from the neck up" and the importance of grounding ourselves to the body in times of stress. Also present was Tiffany Wee from Mind Body Slim who shared on mindful eating!   So we are nearing the end of 2016, and about to welcome a brand new year ahead. Have you set your New Year Resolutions yet?
As an advocate of mindfulness as a way of life, I invite you to incorporate mindfulness as a part of your New Year Resolutions. You might want to commit to doing one thing mindfully per day, or establish a more routine mindfulness practice. You might even want to get yourself formally trained in mindfulness, if you have been toying with the idea for some time. Perhaps you already have a New Year Resolution in mind, and you could be more mindful about achieving or sticking with it. Here are some simple suggestions on how you can have a more mindful year ahead: Doing one thing mindfully everyday: this could be any activity within your daily routine, such as brushing your teeth, locking your apartment door (we know how absent-minded we can be about this!), drinking your first glass of water or first cup of coffee in the morning, waiting for the bus, a household chore like washing the dishes - the possibilities are endless! When mindfully doing that one thing you've chosen, you are essentially paying attention to what you're doing as you're doing it; multi-tasking is a big no-no in mindfulness practice, so don't for example drink your coffee and read the news at the same time. As you pay attention, notice the details using your five senses - see the colors and shapes with your eyes, hear the sounds with your ears, smell the scents with your nose, taste with your tongue, and feel textures and sensations with your hands and skin. When we open up our senses to what we're doing, we stay focused and the mind settles more easily into the present moment by moment. Establishing a more routine practice: Those of us who have had training or experience in mindfulness would probably know that one of the most challenging aspects of mindfulness is keeping up with our practice. Whether it's because of our busy lives or a lack of commitment or some other circumstances, we have probably tried really hard to practice regularly, but there is just no denying that the real research-proven benefits of mindfulness come from a sustained, routine daily practice. When it comes to establishing a routine mindfulness practice, I encourage you to 'start small' and slowly build up your practice. This could mean a simple awareness of breath for just 5 minutes every morning when you wake up or every night before you sleep. When you have gotten used to this 5-minute routine, extend it to 10 minutes a day, then 15 minutes, 20 minutes... If you're commiting to longer mindfulness practices (such as 30 or 40 minute durations), you might want to break it up into several parts practiced over different times of the day. For example, split a 30 minute practice into 10 minutes when you wake up, 10 minutes during lunch time at work, and 10 minutes in the evening or before bedtime. If you have been exposed to or trained in a variety of mindfulness practices (awareness of breath, body scan, movements, choiceless awareness etc.), you might want to start with a practice that you feel most comfortable with and can ease into more effortlessly. If you've established a routine of one particular practice, you might want to switch to another one that is more challenging to you. Look for an App that helps you stick to your routine mindfulness practice - I highly recommend Insight Timer, a meditation App that not only allows you to track your practice hours (and achieve miletones!), you also get to connect with fellow mindfulness practitioners from around the world. Best of all, it's free! Getting formally trained in mindfulness: Many people have probably thought about attending a mindfulness class, but have yet to act on it. If you've been thinking about getting mindfulness training, pick a class or program that allows you enough time to learn the skills and that scaffolds you through the learning process in a more structured way. We recommend the classic 8-Week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Program, which is research-proven and usually taught by an approved facilitator in a group setting. There are important benefits to learning mindfulness in a group setting and over an extended period of time. Being mindful about your New Year Resolutions: Maybe you already have a New Year resolution in mind for 2017 - such as learning a new language or mastering the guitar, and you're wondering if you might actually stick with it or achieve it successfully this time. The practice of mindfulness teaches us to focus our attention and minimize judgments or criticisms towards ourselves. With mindfulness, you can actually cultivate more patience in the process of learning the guitar, and offer yourself the compassion you need when things don't turn out as you had expected. --- Can you think about how else you might be able to have a more mindful 2017? Share it with Mindful Moments!  Mindful Moments will be participating in the Green Bazaar at KK Women's and Children's Hospital!
Date: Wednesday 16 November Venue: KK Women's and Children's Hospital, 100 Bukit Timah Road, Singapore 229899 Location: Children's Tower Level 1 Cost: Free Visit our information booth between 10 am - 4 pm to get a free consultation or chat with Mindfulness Coach Erin, and ask her questions about mindfulness training. Erin will also be conducting a workshop - Introduction to Practical Mindfulness - during the lunch hour (12 pm - 1 pm) at the Training Room. Members of the public can walk in and register. See you there! In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives.  MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness? OCY: I knew about meditation way back but the very first time I got to know about mindfulness was when Erin and I had a discussion about Vipassana Meditation. MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. OCY: I enrolled in the MBSR program in August 2015 in Singapore. The 8-week program was fulfilling and experiential. I could put all the teachings and principles of mindfulness into action and apply them in my daily practice. The biggest challenge was to commit to a scheduled slot of time every day for mindfulness practice - without giving myself any convenient excuses! MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? OCY: I feel my personal well-being has improved tremendously since I began practicing mindfulness from moment to moment in my everyday life. I feel more grounded in the here and now, rather than worry too much about the future and regret the things I've done or have not achieved in the past. Whenever I get anxious, I will just try to stop thinking negatively and start breathing. Breathing in and I know I am breathing in. Breathing out and I know I am breathing out. When I am paying attention to my breath, I am able to keep my mind calm to work with the challenges I encounter in life. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? OCY: As an educator and coach, mindfulness has helped me manage my level of stress in education management as well as more effectively coach my core team in 1-to-1 digital teaching and learning - a relatively new area of curriculum integration which many teachers are still getting used to. I practice deep, mindful listening when I have dialogues with my colleagues and the young learners in school; I find that I am more compassionate when dealing with the problems or difficult situations that my team members have to face; and most importantly, I am always aware of my emotions and energy in different work scenarios - this has been especially helpful for me in managing my stress levels. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? OCY: I meditate and do the body scan practice twice a day, and I schedule a mindful swim of about 20 minutes every day. Whenever I am walking, I will remind myself to walk mindfully - Singaporeans tend to walk quite fast due to our more stressful pace of life, and I have found that it takes practice to remain mindful when we are walking at a faster speed! MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? OCY: Mindfulness is a liberation of the soul and a lifelong skill that every human being should acquire. It will help you discover your true authentic self, I promise. And I personally feel that mindfulness training is much needed in the education field, especially for our teachers, because of the heavy responsibilities we have in nurturing the future generations of Singapore. I believe that only mindful teachers can nurture and develop mindful learners. I strongly encourage teachers, principals and even students to learn and practice mindfulness. --- About Ooi Ching Ya A former trainer at the Ministry of Education Singapore and key founding member of the School of Science and Technology Singapore (SST), Ching Ya is currently Special Advisor to the Principal at RDFZ XISHAN SCHOOL in Beijing China. As a strategic consultant who bridges the educational development between Singapore and China, Ching Ya is focusing her contributions on international relations, branding, as well as lifelong learning in global digital education. She is passionate about showcasing how technology can support the rich interactions and connections across life. In 2015, Ching Ya was selected to sit on Apple Inc's ADE Regional Advisory Board for Asia-Pacific, and is responsible for the professional development of Apple Distinguished Educators in individualized digital teaching and learning. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message!
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About The AuthorMiMo founder Erin Lee is a Mindfulness Coach and MBSR Teacher at Mindful Moments, and advocate of mindfulness as the way of life. She conducts the classic 8-Week MBSR Program, as well as the 8-Week MBSR Workplace Program. 
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ContributeAre you a mindfulness practitioner and have meaningful experiences or thoughts about mindfulness that you'd like to share? You can contribute an article on the MiMo blog! Please contact Erin to find out more.
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