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This article was originally published on LinkedIn on 12 February 2020.  To all who have taught me love - family, friends, lovers, and strangers, I wanna thank you. Thank you, for coming into my life, for staying, for leaving, for returning. Thank you, for making me laugh like I have never laughed before. Thank you, for making me shed tears I never knew I had. Thank you, for choosing to put aside your phone just to be present with me. Thank you, for awarding me a genuine smile each time I see you. Thank you, for wondering if I needed something while you were getting one for yourself. Thank you, for leaving me a random message, just to check in on me. Thank you, for keeping an eye out for an empty seat for me, after I had offered you mine. Thank you, for pointing out my shoelaces were undone, even though I had never spoken to you before. --- Thank you, for offering to show me the way. Thank you, for syncing your footsteps with mine, as we walk down familiar paths. Thank you, for that brief moment of touch, from which I felt your warmth. Thank you, for asking permission. Thank you, for asking for my opinion. Thank you, for trusting me with your deepest secrets. Thank you, for not saying anything, when you sense there are no need for words. --- Thank you, for forwarding a poem or article to me, when you think I might enjoy reading it. Thank you, for sending me photos of your travels, during your travels. Thank you, for taking all those pictures of me. Thank you, for looking into my eyes, and for letting me look into yours. --- Thank you, for asking how I'm feeling today. Thank you, for reminding me to travel safe, rather than berate me for being late. Thank you, for teaching me to slow down, when the world is moving too fast. Thank you, for telling me to take as long as I need. Thank you, for inviting me into your space. Thank you, for reminding me that perfection doesn't exist, and I am okay just the way I am. Thank you, for saying you will never hurt me. Thank you, for saying you will always be my sanctuary. --- Thank you, for helping me peel off those masks. Thank you, for making me a better person, in one way or another. Thank you, for raising your voice that day, which made me realize that all you wanted was to be heard. Thank you, for reaching into the depths of my anger to reveal that it was only fear. Thank you, for showing me that underneath the need to control, lies a desire to care. Thank you, for taking such good care of yourself, for fear of pulling me down with you. Thank you, for saying that you are learning to love, without the need to be loved back. --- Thank you, for telling me what you want your funeral to look like, and how your ashes are to be taken care of. Thank you, for including me and my loved ones in your well wishes. Thank you, for all the heartfelt words you have said. Thank you, for telling me about your boundaries, and asking me about mine. Thank you, for just listening. Thank you, for making me feel safe. Thank you, for your patience, for letting me be. Thank you, for cheering me on, even when you have no idea what is going on. --- Thank you, for assuring me it is okay if I don't want to share my thoughts. Thank you, for saying good-bye, even though you don't have to. Thank you, for allowing me to say good-bye, and sometimes make a silent exit. Thank you, for reminding me that this may be the last time I see you. Thank you, for reminding me this isn't the first time I've met you. Thank you, for the many, many lessons on love. -----
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First published via LinkedIn Pulse. Read Linkedin Article.  There can be freedom in each moment of pain, and in every breath we take. (Image copyright: Light On Life) Growing up in a relatively conservative culture, whereby almost every decision I made or every action I took had to be approved or answerable to an authoritative figure or a social ideology, I remember how much I used to crave freedom. I loathed unnecessary criticisms, baseless judgments, and unfair expectations. My own personal time and space became sacred, and I indulged myself in an inner world of fantasy every chance I got. My biggest dream was to be able to run away some day, to a beautiful place - perhaps a place I could call my own home - that would grant me full independence and the liberty to self-govern. I felt immense power just fantasizing about a completely unrestrained self, basking in this self-defined identity of being free. I held on to this reverie throughout my teens, twenties and early thirties, and unknowingly allowed it to guide the course of my life - my work, my relationships, and my worldview. Of course, the world around me continued to function in an entirely different way, and I often wondered if the bubble I had wrapped around myself served to protect me, or sink me deeper into the illusion that I could be free. The more I struggled with being controlled or limited, the more tightly I held on to my perceived need for freedom.  Image source: Pixabay And then meditation happened. Important discoveries often come to us in the most unknowing ways, when we least expect it, and when we do not anticipate. Upon parting with an almost decade-long corporate portfolio, I signed myself up for a ten-day Vipassana meditation retreat, and went through one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences I had encountered in the first three decades of my life. We were invited to sit for one hour without changing our posture, to practice strong determination in the process of observing ourselves. While the intention of the practice was definitely not one of self-torture, the over-achiever in me couldn't help but take up the "challenge" in its entirety, and for the full one hour I never moved an inch. As the drilling pain grew exponentially in my legs and shot through the full length of the spine, I instinctively threw myself back into my bubble of freedom, hoping that my power of imagination would take me far, far away from the reality of the pain. But my bubble didn't offer the relief it usually would. If anything, the pain only magnified. I was desperate to be free of this pain. I silently screamed over and over again in my head, My legs! My legs! Stop this pain NOW! as tears rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks. Even though I was certain I appeared absolutely unmoving and composed on the outside, the internal battle was raging. My bubble started to press in on me, challenging each and every byte of reliance on escape I had stored in my consciousness over the years. The meditation practice was all about self-observation, and the essence of observation is to pay attention without being caught up in whatever we are observing in the moment. When we observe, there is no need to do anything. We learn to take a step back and simply watch, with curiosity and patience. Moment by moment, as I learned to observe my own body and mind, my muscles loosened and relaxed, my bubble started fading away, and the angry, relentless chatter in my head gradually subsided. The painful sensation was still there at my legs, but strangely it was no longer bothering me so much. For the rest of the hour, I sat with an ease I had never experienced before, even though I was in full confrontation with the reality of my experience. Was I free? It certainly felt so. In the middle of deep turbulence, there was no room for escape, and yet freedom found me.  Image source: Pixabay It took me over thirty years and a somewhat intensive meditation experience to bring to light what freedom - a core value I had aligned my life with - truly means. Escape does not really bring freedom, much like how chocolate doesn't bring lasting comfort, or how working out at the gym doesn't increase our self-worth. And yet escape seems to be the only means to freedom that the modern world is currently encouraging. My struggle for freedom amidst pain was at best a form of distraction, and at worst, a multifold intensification of the pain. When we don't like the pain we feel inside, we tend to seek out something outside of us for some relief, not realizing that the unpleasantness really comes from within. But when I chose to direct my attention inwards to gently observe my pain, I was able to find freedom in the pain right there and then. Since then, I have been consciously reminding myself of this insight with almost every physically, mentally and emotionally painful experience that comes my way. From hectic schedules, professional blunders, ruminative thoughts and moments of self-doubt, to difficult relationships and the stress of being a caregiver, I practice turning my attention inwards, remaining mindfully aware of the pain that comes, learning not to invite it for a stay, and then watching it eventually change and fade away. With each painful experience that arrives, the practice begins. And with each moment of practice, comes a moment of freedom. Today, freedom remains my top core value, guiding me in every decision I make. But I no longer regard freedom in the same way as before. Rather than running away, I intentionally choose to turn towards. Rather than wishing for things to be different, I learn to be at ease with what is. In the absence of futile struggle, there is freedom to be found in every moment of difficulty, and even in every step and breath I take. Without a doubt, this takes a lot of practice, but I am inclined to make this practice a lifelong one. Connect with Erin, because she would love to practice mindfulness with you. Do give a like, leave a comment, or share this article if Erin's words resonate with you!
In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives.  MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness? Pui Yee: I was exposed to mindfulness some years back through a short meditation class that I’ve attended. My interest in learning and practicing mindfulness was renewed when a friend of mine introduced me to the MBSR program. MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. Pui Yee: The MBSR program appealed to my ‘rational’ self as I wanted a structured and secular way to familiarize myself with this body of knowledge. The program certainly lived up to my expectations. The inquiry sessions were particularly useful in sharing insights and challenges with my fellow participants. In addition, I have learnt various mindfulness techniques during the program and I now incorporate them into my daily activities. Finally, it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention the instrumental role that Erin played as a coach, facilitator and teacher. MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? Pui Yee: It takes time, effort and commitment to cultivate and practice mindfulness. Although I have just started on my mindfulness journey, I already noticed that I am more cognizant of my thoughts, emotions and actions as well as their impact on my overall state of well-being and those around me. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? Pui Yee: At work, I have learnt to appreciate the importance of taking a pause whenever I am confronted with a difficult or stressful situation. It is amazing how a short minute or two that’s well spent (or, for that matter, a single mindful breath) can neutralize my negative (yet instinctive) emotions and reactions. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? Pui Yee: For a start, I made a decision to set aside 30min every day for a formal practice. This is complemented by making a conscious effort to become more aware and mindful in my daily activities. That said, I confess that mindful eating is still something that I have yet to learn to appreciate! MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? Pui Yee: Stop thinking. As the saying goes – the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The time is NOW. ------ About Pui Yee Pui Yee prides herself as a global citizen. Aside from being an avid traveler, her banking and finance career has given her the opportunity to work and live in London, Brussels, Shanghai and Hong Kong. She also spent a year in France in the name of pursuing a further degree. Paradoxically, it is this extensive international exposure that has prompted Pui Yee to become more introspect. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message!
In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives   MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness?
Sherry: I was given heavy responsibilities at work and dealt with stakeholders who demanded a lot of time and energy. I would start each work day feeling unrested and drained, and over time I had to summon a lot of self-control and use a great sense of responsibility to complete whatever I needed to do. Other challenges in life depleted my energy further and I needed to find a better and more constructive way to manage my stress and mental fatigue. After months of social isolation, I met up with a friend who benefited from Erin’s MBSR program so I started reading up about mindfulness and discovered that it was exactly the skills I needed to handle life’s challenges! MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. Sherry: Erin gave us weekly practices with guided meditation audio recordings to keep up with daily meditation. These weekly practices helped me to reflect on how I had been dealing with life and how I can apply mindfulness for better quality of life. When things were busy at work, it was tempting to skip practices but the MBSR program will be effective only if one makes the best out of these 8 weeks and follows the weekly practices closely. The Circle of Awareness to break the habit loops and Erin’s theoretical explanations about MBSR were most helpful to me as it clearly articulates the neuroscience behind why the MBSR program will work. The 1-day silent retreat was my favourite part of the program as it was only at the retreat that I felt like “I finally got it!” – I was better able to embrace the skills taught in the first 5 weeks and understood how meditation can be practised on-the-go, every day, every moment! MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? Sherry: Mindfulness has helped me to look inward and gain fresh perspectives about life’s challenges. It has helped me to reduce mental noise and break habits of cyclical thinking to be more present with life’s moments. I realized that the anxiety and worries in everyday life could be halted simply by being more aware of the present and to let things “be”, instead of doubting and judging whether things should be another way (in the past) or could be a certain way (in the future). I am able to build my natural resilience by acknowledging the present difficult situation with the help of mindful breathing and then calmly deciding my next course of action without unnecessarily depleting my mental (or physical) energy. I am also better able to appreciate the present for what it “is”. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? Sherry: I am better able to manage my anxiety and be more open-minded to alternative approaches to issues at work. I can appreciate each moment better instead of constantly worrying about the next task. Whenever I encounter challenging situations or people at work, I am better able to re-centre my mind so as not to emotionally engage with the situation or person. I have also learnt to be less judgmental of my negative emotions and thoughts and acknowledge them instead of berating myself for having them. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? Sherry: I do simple meditation practices daily to take a pause from the hectic work schedule and improve my foundation in mindful living. Instead of habitual cyclical thinking, mindfulness brings me back to the present moment and reduces my anxiety. It helps me to be appreciative of life and embrace its moments, to be kinder to myself so that I can extend compassion to others. Whenever I encounter a stressful situation, I am able to break the stress reactivity cycle through mindful breathing so that I can respond more constructively. MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? Sherry: Mindfulness reminds us to “be” as we are and helps us learn to accept life and its challenges as they come. We are caught up in “doing” things, searching for solutions by constantly analysing problems. Our minds are overworked and we feel unrested and continue this cycle either until we bounce back by seeking a change (which might or might not be helpful), or until we want to end our suffering. By practising mindfulness, we do not forget or escape from our challenges, and still need to face them and overcome them eventually, but we can handle stressful situations more constructively and not destroy ourselves in the process. By observing stressful feelings moment by moment and noticing things as they are, we can allow our minds to rest, then return to it when we are less emotional and more rational to handle it. ------ About Sherry Lim Sherry grew up in Singapore and has worked in the education industry for more than five years. Through her work, she seeks to understand how people learn, and why people are the way they are. She enjoys reading books and articles, particularly in the areas of neuroscience and psychology, to complement her work. She is an avid seeker of meaningful experiences and loves to learn new things across varied topics. She believes in balanced living and is self-motivated in doing at-home workouts, eating a variety of foods, and practising mindfulness in protecting one’s physical, emotional and mental health. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message! In The Mindful People Series, we interview people from different walks of life and get them to share their mindfulness experience, as well as how learning and practicing mindfulness have made a difference to their personal and professional lives.  MiMo: How did you get into learning and practicing mindfulness? Gavin: Initially I didn't know what mindfulness was all about, until I read an article that was about how mindfulness helps with managing anxiety and relieving stress. After I attended the first and second sessions of the MBSR program, I did not yet have the habit of practicing mindfulness by myself. Only after I attended the second half of the 8-week program and the full day retreat did I begin to realize that mindfulness practice is very beneficial to my daily life. MiMo: Tell us about your experience in the MBSR program. Gavin: It has been a very fruitful learning journey of experiencing and understanding the concept and practice of mindfulness, and now I am applying the mindfulness skills I have acquired at my workplace and in my personal life too! MiMo: How has mindfulness contributed to your personal well-being? Gavin: Mindfulness has actually helped me in managing my OCD. Whenever I know that I am checking more than usual, I will be more aware and non-judgmentally conscious of myself during the process of checking. I have been able to reduce the number of times of checking. MiMo: How has mindfulness supported you in your professional work? Gavin: I am now able to think more logically and focus on my work better. Before learning mindfulness, I tended to be often distracted by the many thoughts I had while I was at work. MiMo: How have you incorporated mindfulness into your daily life? Gavin: Whenever I become very nervous (I have the tendency to feel nervous almost everyday), I have the mindfulness skills handy to work with my thoughts and emotions; I would say mindfulness is becoming a very important support to my well-being. MiMo: Any words of advice for people who are thinking about learning mindfulness? Gavin: Mindfulness is something that I find essential for our day-to-day life, since we are faced with stressful events all the time, be it at work or in our personal space. You will find mindfulness to be a very amazing skill to have as it is something that doesn’t take up a lot of your time but is so effective in promoting a healthy lifestyle! ------  About Gavin Lim Gavin has worked in the training industry for more than five years, with good experience of coordinating and working together with trainers and participants, and building conducive training environments. He has been actively participating in the Hair for Hope event on an annual basis. Gavin also loves to collect various public transport collectible items as well as spotting buses. During his free time, he likes hanging out and spending time with his friends. Are you a mindfulness practitioner or do you know one who would like to share their mindfulness experience on the MiMo blog? Do drop us a message!
 When people come to know that I practice and teach mindfulness, quite a number of them would ask me this same question: What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a word that we see everywhere in the media and at our workplaces nowadays. Through reading editorials and articles, we probably have a roughly idea about what it is, although we may not really understand what it encompasses. Many of us define mindfulness as a kind of meditation, but this concept of mindfulness might stop at images of sitting still and quiet in a cross-legged position, attempts to empty the mind, or of other rituals such as prayers and chanting. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the classic 8-Week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, explains mindfulness as "paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally" (see source). If we tried to understand this definition conceptually, it might be difficult to fathom what this form of paying attention truly means. What do we mean by paying attention on purpose? Why the emphasis of the present moment in mindfulness? What does being non-judgmental have to do with mindfulness? In this article, I will aim to explain in the simplest way possible the key words and terms used in describing and practicing mindfulness. It is worth noting that experiential practice of mindfulness is much more important for understanding what mindfulness is, than the terms I discuss below. ------ Awareness All of us have awareness. In the broader sense, awareness refers to the capacity of knowing or perceiving events, objects and situations. In mindfulness, we talk about knowing what is happening while it is happening, often referring to one's inner experience. When someone makes you happy and you smile, you are aware that your face is smiling. When you are angered by another driver rudely cutting into your lane, you are mindfully aware of the grip of your hands tightening on the steering wheel, and the wave of heat rising in your body. You are aware of your own likes and dislikes, the thoughts and voices in your head, your emotions, actions and behaviours. Awareness is different from reflection - reflection often takes place on hindsight, after something has happened and you're pondering about what had happened. Awareness takes place as the event itself is taking place, i.e. in the present moment. Present Moment There is a great emphasis on being present in practicing mindfulness. We cannot be practicing mindfulness if we are not in the present moment. By the present, we mean the here and now - what is going on in your inner experience at this particular moment. The opposite of the present moment is the past or the future. The mind often carries us to the past to relive (and dwell in) memories, or carries us forward to think about (or worry about) the future. When the mind is engaged in the past or the future, we are no longer in the present moment. For example, while you are having lunch, you start to worry about the business presentation you are about to give in an hour, or you begin to think about the comments your colleagues had made about your work earlier in the morning. Your mind is caught up about the past or the future, and you have lost the ability to pay attention to the present moment: i.e. the food on your plate, the tastes on your tongue, the way you are eating, etc. In mindfulness, we are learning to be in the present, moment-by-moment - one moment at a time. We take each moment as it comes - learning to let go of the moments that have passed, and learning not to anticipate the upcoming ones. Autopilot Autopilot is the opposite of mindfulness. When we are mindful, we are aware of what is happening and what we are doing. But when we are in autopilot, we are doing something without being aware that we are doing it. For example, when we are driving, our mind shifts to autopilot and does the driving for us without us having to put too much conscious attention into the skill, and before we know it, we have reached our destination quite effortlessly. Autopilot is a function of the mind that allows us to carry out learned habits and skills efficiently, thus freeing the mind to engage in other activities or thoughts. But when we are in autopilot, we also act out ingrained patterns of the past without knowing it, and some of these patterns are often negative or destructive. For example, when faced with new challenges, the mind automatically retrieves information about past failures and we react with the same cycles of fear and anxiety. Or we might shove unhealthy food down our body simply out of habit, or light a cigarette time and again without being aware of it until we have taken the first puff. With mindfulness of the present moment, we learn to be aware of our negative patterns and behaviours, thus beginning to break out of our automatic patterns. Stress Mindfulness is one of the most effective antidotes to stress. When we talk about stress, we are referring not only to the stress itself, but also to the relationship we have with the stressors in our lives. These stressors can be internal or external, but more often than not, it is the stress we feel internally that really affects our health and well-being. External stress is inevitable in life, and we often add on to the stress by reacting to the stress, such as allowing ourselves to engage in negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours. For example, your boss calls you into his or her office. This may feel a little stressful for you, but you tend to react to this initial (and external) stress by thinking: What does he want from me? Is she unhappy with my performance? And before you know it, these negative thoughts are taking over your mind, and you are ruminating not just about the stress at hand. Everyone in the office is looking at me with sympathy. This is so embarrassing. Why can't I do anything right with this job? What am I doing with my career? What am I doing with my life? Mindfulness trains the mind to be aware of the stressors as they arrive, and learn to weaken and break out of the negative and automatic cycles of thoughts and emotions. With the practice of mindfulness, we are working on greater acceptance towards stress, without fighting with reactivity or avoidance or running away, thus changing our relationship with stress. Doing versus Being The modern pace of life, with its never-ending stream of tasks and communications, as well as roles and responsibilities we have to take on, has us engaging in the mode of doing all the time - we focus on to-do lists and check-lists; we think and plan ahead, we make decisions and problem solve. Although these types of doing are important in getting us through the day, the doing mind also often gets into the habit of thinking non-stop, and we find that it gets increasingly difficult for the mind to shut off at night when it's time to rest and sleep. The doing mode also encourages the mind to make judgments and appraisals, assess and criticise, speculate and make assumptions, or dwell in what had happened (the past) and worry about what's to come (the future). For example, you might spend the whole night going through your to-do list for the next day over and over again, or get lost in regretting what you had done today at the workplace. The practice of mindfulness encourages the being mode of the mind, and simply allows us to rest in the present moment instead of getting drowned in the turmoils of the inner mind. Non-Judgment As humans, we tend to be judgmental beings. We like to appraise things, people or events we encounter, deciding whether they are good or bad, beneficial or detrimental, useful or harmful. We have preferences, hoping for pleasant experiences to continue, and avoiding or pushing away unpleasant ones. We often want things to go the way we like, and when they don't, we react. These reactions we have greatly add on to the stress in our lives. When we practice mindfulness, we simply pay attention to our inner experiences non-judgmentally. We learn to observe things just the way they are, without the adding of judgments, without preference, and without attempting to change the experience. Whatever that arises in the mind, we train the mind not to engage or react, but to simply observe non-judgmentally. Paying Attention Paying attention is the fundamental practice of mindfulness. We always set an intention to pay attention at the start of each practice. We have learned how to pay attention - without judgment and in the present moment. But what are we paying attention to? We can pay attention to anything that arises in our inner experience. To practice the foundations of mindfulness, we often start with paying attention to physical sensations of the breath and body. We also learn to pay attention to the physical sensations in movement. These practices help to anchor our attention to the present moment. As we progress along our practice, we learn to also observe the thoughts and emotions that come and go in the mind, without engaging in them. Through paying attention this way, we acquaint ourselves with the nature of our mind, and over time we learn to concentrate better, increase our self-awareness, manage stress more effectively, shift the neurology of the brain to embrace more positive outlooks, and improve our health as well as emotional and mental well-being. ------ Do you have more questions about mindfulness, or need further explanation on a mindfulness term you have come across? Leave a comment, or drop Erin a message here or via email!  We just launched an informative 3-minute video (2:50 to be exact) about what mindfulness is not. Click on the video to watch and clear your misconceptions about mindfulness!
 During a recent mindfulness retreat I attended on a lovely Isle on the West Coast of Scotland, we were invited to practice mindfulness outdoors, facing the open sea.
If you had the chance to sit like this and start observing, what would you notice? Would the magnificent scenery take your breath away? Would you be thinking about how fortunate you were to be resting under the big blue sky? Would you be feeling a deep sense of gratitude for the wonders of nature? The picture above makes it look as though we were just chilling to the beautiful sights, but all of us were in actual fact working really hard. As we sat on the grassy patch, we took the opportunity to observe not just what was around us, but also what was going on in the mind. We felt the cold wind brush against our face, and noticed a thought arising: This experience would be perfect if the wind wasn't so strong. The warm sun fades away for a few moments, and we noticed another thought arising: Warmth! Please stay, don't go away now... Preference was here. We heard the buzzing sounds of bees hovering above our heads, and noticed yet another thought arising: Could these nature's biggest helpers possibly sting us? Fear was here. We saw a young goat trotting past with an obvious limp, and the thought arose: Poor little kid is hurt - I wish I could do something to help it. Sympathy, and the desire to do something to help, were here. The loud chattering voices of other guests on the island reached our ears, seemingly disrupting our peace; we thought: Can't they see we are meditating here? Some people really lack awareness. Judgment was here. We began to feel an ache in our body from sitting still for an extended period time; we thought: Oh no, here comes the pain again. Why now of all times? Why can't ever I sit comfortably? Self-appraisal was here. In a span of thirty minutes, we observed countless fleeting thoughts arising in the mind, out of nowhere, and out of our control. We observed how thoughts were magnified when we engaged with them, but disappeared when we chose to let them be. We observed how we don't simply see or sense things the way they are, but have the tendency to want to interpret them, change them, or fix them. We have preferences - clinging on to things that we like, and pushing away things we don't like. Such mindfulness practices help us understand the nature of the mind, and the habitual patterns that come along with it. We begin to see how these habitual patterns dominate our daily lives. With such awareness comes insight, and the ability to navigate life with more skillful and helpful responses. --- If you're interested in mindfulness training, do check out our 8-Week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program here.  A friend of mine, upon seeing Mindful Moment's Facebook update on our Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Program, sent me an image along with a cheeky question: which version are you teaching? The image, which you may have seen before since it is commonly featured on mindfulness-related websites and social media, is a drawing of a man taking a walk with his dog along a row of leafy green trees and a big warm sun shining from above; there is a thought bubble above the man's head, showing that his mind is filled with thoughts about work, communications, tasks, traveling, etc.; and then there is another thought bubble above the dog's head, showing the exact scene they are in - the row of leafy green trees and the big warm sun shining from above. And then the big question on the image asks the viewer: Mindful, or Mind Full? It is not difficult to understand from the image that despite taking a walk in a lovely environment, the man is miles away caught up in his own train of thoughts about everything other than the beautiful scenery around him - his mind is full. The dog, on the other hand, is noticing his immediate environment as he walks - aware of the trees he is passing by, and the warmth of the sun - it is being mindful of its surroundings. My friend understood that, and his tongue-in-cheek question was, which version does a mindfulness teacher teach in an MBSR class? Mindful, or Mind Full? I answered: Actually, both! It is without a doubt that participants learn to be mindful in a mindfulness class - during practices we work really hard to pay attention to the present moment, instead of allowing the mind to be pulled away by the past or the future. But through practicing mindfulness, we might find that there is also a lot to learn from paying attention to a mind that is full! What happens when the mind is constantly overloaded with checklists, to-dos, and tasks to complete? Or when the mind is playing an upsetting event that had happened over and over again? Or when the mind loops questions about uncertainties, or when it frequently airs an unpleasantly critical, judgmental voice? Through practice, we might discover that the mind virtually never stops, and is almost always full, or at least filled with something. Even though we frequently hear the advice: "Clear your mind" or "Empty your mind", we can be sure that this "emptiness" we are hoping for as a relief from the never-ending busyness of life will not last beyond a moment before the mind begins to be filled up again. It is equally important for mindfulness practice, then, to train the mind to be mindful of the present moment, and also be mindful of the mind that is full. Curious, yet? It is worth highlighting here that it is not enough to ponder over the "Mindful or Mind Full" question as an intellectual exercise. Only personal experience from engaging in mindfulness practices can bring us true insights and discoveries into the nature of the mind. And I invite you to further explore this with mindfulness training. Click here to find out the latest dates of our next Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program.  Suffering is a part of life. Or is it?
There is a common saying that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional". We are constantly faced with challenges and struggles that may bring us pain, but this does not mean that we have to keep suffering from the pain. Suffering can range from traumatic experiences, extreme or chronic stress, to depressive moods, anxiety and other unpleasant emotions. As long as there is unrest, unease, dissatisfaction or turbulence within ourselves, we can be fairly certain that suffering exists. And we usually have no issues identifying the existence of suffering. In mindfulness practice, we are working towards minimizing this suffering by gaining a deeper understanding of why suffering exists. Suffering happens when we are unsatisfied with our circumstances and feel compelled to change them, despite things being out of our control. When we meet with an unpleasant situation we don't like, we develop an aversion or rejection towards the experience. Thoughts develop: No, it shouldn't be this way, this can't be happening to me; emotions like anger, resentment, disappointment, shame, and guilt arise. We begin to cling on to our thoughts and feelings; we ruminate and obsess, replaying and looping little scenes in our head. Likewise, when we encounter a pleasant situation, we are likely to develop an attachment towards what we like. We want it to happen to us all the time, and then we become afraid that it won't, or feel disappointed when it doesn't. We are afraid to let go, and when things do not happen according to our wishes, we refuse to accept reality. The concept of the second arrow is important for us to further understand our suffering. We are often involuntarily struck by a first arrow, causing some pain to us. But on top of feeling this pain from the first arrow, we have the tendency to automatically shoot a second arrow at ourselves, at that exact same spot, thus causing a much bigger and often unnecessary pain. We cannot stop the first arrow from being shot at us, but the second arrow is optional. That second arrow is suffering. Take for example, a loved one has forgotten to wish you on your birthday because they have recently been exceptionally busy. Naturally you feel disappointed, but because your habitual mind starts shooting the second arrow, you begin to think: I always remember his/her birthday, why doesn't h/she remember mine? S/he is losing interest; s/he doesn't love me anymore. Or perhaps your supervisor criticises the recent proposal you had drafted. Immediately, you feel an unpleasant sensation somewhere in your body, and a thought arises in your mind: My report is not good enough. And then you react to that thought with a follow-up of a string of thoughts: That must mean I'm not good enough. Can I really handle this job? I'm such a failure. Why can't I do anything right? Feelings of embarrassment, fear and anxiety may tag along with those thoughts, and the next thing you know, you are suffering. Mindfulness trains our mind to recognize both the first arrow and the second arrow we shoot at ourselves. This recognition allows us to create space around our thoughts and feelings; instead of reacting to them with the second arrow, we can choose to respond in a different way. With mindfulness practice, we learn that our thoughts and feelings are not us, and we do not need to identify with them. We learn to notice when we are telling ourselves stories and falling for those narratives. We learn to watch our thoughts and emptions come and go in the mind, and we cultivate a gentle, non-judgmental awareness towards the habitual nature of our mind. We learn to stop resisting and start accepting things the way they are. We learn to be okay with whatever that arises in our experience. But this does not mean that we give up hope, live indifferently or withdraw from improving our life. In fact, the awareness of our suffering and waking up to it, is by itself an improvement to our life. Instead of reacting impulsively, we are interrupting our negative habitual patterns to respond in a better way. Instead of feeling constantly uneasy, unsatisfied, unhappy with life, we are cultivating more calmness and making peace with ourselves. Learn how to wake up to suffering with the 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Program we offer. |
About The AuthorMiMo founder Erin Lee is a Mindfulness Coach and MBSR Teacher at Mindful Moments, and advocate of mindfulness as the way of life. She conducts the classic 8-Week MBSR Program, as well as the 8-Week MBSR Workplace Program. 
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